A precious life....life is precious

A young man named Colton Tooley took his life today at the University of Texas.

I first heard about there being a shooter on campus this morning after already getting to school.  My heart goes out to the friends and family of Colton.  He apparently grew up in the Austin area, was a top 10 graduate from his high school.

The weirdest part is that he is my brother's age.  I had a friend commit suicide my freshman year in high school.  I did not understand it then, and I don't understand it now.  It breaks my heart to think that someone could be so isolated to the point that they have no where to go.

He took his life after firing shots on campus and running up to the 6th floor of one of the libraries on campus.  He clearly had no intention of shooting anybody or he would have at least fired at any number of students and faculty he saw, however this was not the case.  It is clear to me, he did it for attention, he cried out to be heard and seen.

One of the biggest lies we can come to believe in this world is that we are alone.  Despite the hundreds of people who I'm sure were invested in Colton's life he began to believe he was in an inescapable hole, he had no one who would understand, he was a failure, he had nothing to live for, etc....

These things begin to take us if we choose to dwell on them.  I think back to him graduating from his high school, obviously very successful.  I am sure he laughed with friends at lunch.  He probably went out and saw movies with friends.  I am sure he had a favorite restaurant here in Austin.  He probably had a spot he would go to and think.

I bet Colton had a favorite Sonic drink, a favorite childhood memory, maybe he had an imaginary friend growing up.  I'm sure he has some precious baby pictures, where he has chubby cheeks, and I bet he played a sport growing up, or maybe an instrument.

I say these things not to try and be intentionally emotional, but to remind myself and any who read this that this young man was not a statistic, not a number, not a reason to get out of class.  He was a person, a soul, a life, a son, and perhaps one day he would have been a husband and a father.

I don't really understand what it is to be in a place where life feels like there is no hope, but I can surely say I don't envy him, and my heart breaks for him and his family.

I believe there is something bigger than us happening, I believe that there is a God who can make sense of this even if I can't, though I think if my heart breaks for this kid, I can't imagine how much it hurts him.

I dont know, I don't understand, but join me if you will in praying for Colton Tooley's friends and family, because though one life is gone, there are others who will hurt because of it.  He may be gone, but his memory is alive in those who loved him.